Don't Wake Me, I'm Dreaming

Ah, Halloween. The one day every year when so many people look freakier than a Chocolate Jedi. Unless you live in New York City. Then, it's just Saturday.

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby

Remember when you used to spin around for no particular reason? Do it again this weekend. [Disclaimer: Chocolate Yoda is not responsible for injuries sustained by anyone over 5 years old.]

I Can See Your House From Here

Today, I will do as Isaac Newton suggested and stand on the shoulders of giants. How about you?

You're Right To Party

No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn.

What Does That Mean?

I will not dumb down my vocabulary to accommodate the limits of yours.

Oh, Yeah

Life is like a big bowl of pasta, delicious and fattening.

Funny, Ha Ha

Not everything is funny, though everything is potentially funny.

The Name Game

Grape and Grapefruit. This is unnecessarily complicated.

Anatomy

What exactly do you have to do to yourself to get sore eyes?

Not Possible

If you are one of those people who says, "Same sh*t, different day.", you are not paying attention.

Stunning, Isn't It?

I don't know much about what I like, but I know what art is.

Really?

Please stop comparing everything to ninjas. Have you ever even met a
ninja? I thought not.

Sad, But True

Stupid really is as stupid does.

One In A Hundred-Billion-Trillion

If you want to determine if someone is truly unique, you just have to determine if there has been anyone similar before or after that person. That's how I know we are all unique. There has never been anyone like you. There is no one exactly like you now (even if you're a twin). There will never be anyone like you again. Make the most of you.

Do You Believe In Magic?

Studies show that multitasking is a myth. That's right, it's a modern
day construct that only exists in our egos. I hope you're not reading
this in your car.

They're There

Attention Facebook Members: There is a difference between There, Their and They're and To, Two and Too. As a bonus, there is no such word as noone (it's no one). Lastly, and this has nothing to do with spelling or grammar, I don't believe that you are constantly laughing out loud.

Riddle Me This

I'm trying to reconcile the concept of one's being predictably unpredictable.

What Are You Looking At?

Rubberneckers, why can't you see whatever the hell you're trying to see at 55 miles per hour?

We Ain't Got Nothin' On King Kong

Gorilla Facts: Each family group lives within a fairly small area. However, groups that occupy the same area coexist peacefully. They have very strong social bonds partly because of the closeness of social grooming. The gorilla's very easy-going nature has made it possible for humans to mingle with wild family groups, despite the fact that gorillas know that mankind has slaughtered their family members.

How amazing is that? So, I ask you, what would mankind be like if we were more like our simian cousins? What if we could co-exist peacefully? What if we did our own version of social closeness, like hugging each other more frequently, or smiling at each other? You know, the way infants smile at everyone they see for no particular reason. What if we forgave each other the way gorillas have forgiven us? Hmm.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

The little grin that just appeared on my face while you were talking indicates the moment I decided that you are an idiot. 

Can I Get A What?

I hear what you're saying, but I'm probably hearing it differently than the way you might think. That's why I'm grinning.

The Machinist Was a Little Disappointing

Eqilibrium is highly overrated. I mean the state, not the film. The
film was vastly underrated. What can I say, Chocolate Yoda is secure
enough in his Jedi-hood to admit he likes Christian Bale films.

Logic

Where there’s a will, there’s an inheritance.

No, Thank You

I love dogs, but don't let them lick my face because my face is not the only
object of their attention.
 

One Man Band

Glockenspiel. That's a funny word, isn't it?  

You're Fired - Uh, Maybe

The IRS is funded in part by my tax dollars. As such, all individuals
that work there work for me. What a feeling.

What's In A Name

Just the other day, someone called me Yoda. Hey, it's Chocolate Yoda.
Do I look like that little green freak?

Only 441 Shopping Days 'Til Christmas 2010

 Gift cards are better than gifts. I’m just saying.

Oh, What a Feeling

Being loved is great. Loving someone is greatness.

Tommy, Can You Hear Me?

Cell phones are not like two cans tied to a string. You can just speak
normally when you use them. You can even whisper. Go ahead, try it.
Please.

The Horse Before The Cart

It's not "Happy Belated Birthday". It's "Belated Happy Birthday". The
birthday wasn't late, the greeting was.