Foolish Pride

You had nothing to do with the country you were born in. You had nothing to do with the city you were born in. You had nothing to do with the race you were born of. Why exactly are you so proud of your country, city and heritage?

Perspective

Instead of the weather report saying partly cloudy, why don't they say mostly sunny?

Incongruity

Examining myself in the mirror, I came to the following conclusions: My bottom half looks like an International Male underwear ad. My top half looks like a bad day at China Grill. Anyone know how to get these two halves to play nice and reach a reasonable settlement?

This Is The End

Snuggies. They may seem like a good idea. They are not. They may seem harmless and cute. They are neither. They may seem like an indication that the seventh seal has broken. They are. They really are.

Fingers Crossed

Just because one is forthcoming doesn't mean one is honest.

Sure You Will

Those car insurance commercials that promise that repairs are covered as long as you own the car: Do they think you plan to get repairs when you don't own the car anymore?

Check Please

If you're reading something on Facebook that you don't understand, it means you're already online. Instead of asking the poster to clarify or define, do a search yourself--online. It will take about 15 seconds, and help you save face. Seriously.

Let's Do The Time Warp Again For The First Time

I have to admit, I'm always confused by time warp films. Don't bother trying to explain it. It'll just make my head hurt.

She Loves You YEA/YEAH/YAY

YEA/YEAH/YAY = Yes (old fashioned), Yes (modern) and Exclamation (as in, Hurray!). Carry on.