Life, Life

Life is a fatal disease. The only prescription is living.

Kiss Today Goodbye

I never minded being a fool for love. However, a fool for lust is just tragically embarrassing.

The Humpty Dance

Recently, I was explaining to a woman that as sexy as I am with my clothes on, I'm much sexier naked. She doubted my claim and implored me to prove it. I complied immediately. Though she was satisfied that my claim was true, she was a little shocked at my behavior. So were some of the other people at the post office. Moral of the story: If you don't want to see a 900 year old chocolate Jedi master naked at the post office, don't ask him to take his clothes off at the post office.

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

I think it's hypocritical to unflinchingly allow pets to publicly urinate and defecate, but I get yelled at when I do it. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--I am willing be brings my own plastic bags. Come on, people.